The Energy Behind Splitting the Bill

A few years ago, I went on a date with a man in Amsterdam. When the bill arrived, he said:

“I don’t want to make you upset,” — apparently referring to me being Swedish and presumably an “independent” strong woman living in the Netherlands — and suggested splitting the bill.

My body and yoni closed instantly. His chances of turning our connection into something romantic disappeared in a split second.

Another thing I’ve heard is:

“But I don’t want to dishonor her culture or disrespect her will.”

You won’t.

You’ll invite the feminine to trust you, to have faith in you, and to learn how to receive from the masculine.

If you want her to receive all of your cock, let her receive a dinner first.

So, should the man always pay on the first date (and in my opinion, most of the upcoming ones)?
Yes.

Here’s why.

The essence of masculine energy is G I V I N G.

Money is energy, and there’s energy in treating someone to a meal or a drink. It’s the masculine’s way of showing he cares, that he’s safe, reliable—a provider.

It’s not about picking up the bill out of obligation.
It’s about desire.

It’s the deep longing to provide and protect a woman.
It makes him feel purposeful and fulfilled when he can say, “Babe, I’ve got you.”

It’s a simple way of honoring and appreciating the feminine.

It makes her respect him—and she’ll naturally want to give more of herself.

She’ll be impressed when he does a sneaky move and picks up the bill on his way back from the bathroom.

And he’ll do it regardless of the connection, regardless of the chance of a second date, regardless of sparks or looks.

The problem I often see is when there’s an exchange mindset around dating.

Men, can you embody the giver, the protector, the provider… even when
…she was ten pounds bigger than her pictures?
…there was no flow in the conversation?

Can you still honor this woman—her body, her level of consciousness, the mother in her?
Can you still show up for her?

Take full responsibility that you didn’t vet her better before deciding to take her out. Own it.

Now, ladies, this one’s for you:

Know that naturally, he won’t enjoy giving to you if you’re not receptive or open—in your personality, mindset, or body language.

If you’re hyper-independent, controlling, or keeping an armor around your heart, the polarized dynamic and the joy of giving won’t be possible, because you’re resisting it.

It takes two to tango.

If, as a woman, you struggle to receive and surrender on a date—insisting on paying your half because “you can”—this likely also shows up in the bedroom. You won’t be able (or willing) to fully open your body for deep penetration, making it impossible for a man to give his all to you.

We know you can pay for yourself, babe.
But it’s far more attractive when you can receive.

Men, you can help a woman receive by being assertive, confident, and charming—inviting her into receiving your gift without leaving room for debate.
Show her your dominance, your decision, your values.
Push her up against the wall energetically.
It’s part of the foreplay.

The truth is, the 50/50 mindset is destructive for polarity.

Men, not until you liberate yourself from the exchange mindset and embody the provider and protector—deeply desiring to honor and look after the feminine, whether it’s your mother, sister, or partner—will you have fully embodied your masculinity.

Women, not until you let go of the 50/50 mindset and the need to prove yourself to a man, not until you release the “strong independent woman” story, will you fully embody your feminine.

You won’t attract men who show up for you fully—nor men who can truly fuck you to God.

Men — Ready to fully lead your dating process and meet a woman who’s actually a great fit for you?
Join Ready to Date, my coaching program designed to help you attract, lead, and love from confidence, authenticity and masculine leadership.