The Naked Love

I want the kind of love that feels like home.

I want to sit naked in front of my man knowing that I am enough.

Knowing that he is enough.

Just as we are.

Radiating so much love, depth and devotion towards each other, that nothing else matters.

I want to feel grounded, excited, thrilled and inspired in the pure essence of our souls merging.

Without red wine between us, without planning the next holiday, without discussing the color of the tiles for our dream house, without going to fancy parties together as a power couple, without embarking on psychedelic trips to outer space together.

Don’t get me wrong, I want all that too, but it’s not the foundation.

It’s not my primary desire.

It’s not what will make us happy.

No, instead the fulfilment will come from the real connection in the simplest nakedness.

It’s in the sweaty unfiltered rawness, just being in each others’ presence.

Pouring from an endless well of love.

I want to feel that he is the one I would choose to be stranded on a deserted island with.

Without the attributes. Without the job titles, money, mortgage, identities.

Because I’ve been there, finding joy in the relationship when there’s red wine on the table, when we plan a trip to Ikea to get new furniture, when we buy a summer house together, when we arrive at a party as a hot couple, when we go shopping on the weekend.

I’ve been there and I’ve felt the comedown from these false expressions of happiness. When the gourmet pizza on the Friday makes you sleepy and empty afterwards, when the wine gives you a headache the next day, when you’ve bought all the beautiful furniture and feel like you need a new project.

I even bought the summer house.

But I wasn’t connected to my inner voice, my heart. I sustained relationships by entertaining all the things around it. “We are so good together, he’s such an amazing guy”. All the things but true intimacy and desire, or vulnerability, or the power of two humans coming together and growing together consciously. I wasn’t connected to that aspect of relationships - and probably not even aware to be honest.

Today I’m sitting at a restaurant in Bali observing a couple next to me.

Both on their phones, with a chatty child between them.

They drink wine and beer and exchange some phrases about the shopping they have done and they are planning to do.

The man being bitter in his way of speaking.

Drinking his beer mostly in silence.

Which is all FINE. No judgment. It just reminded me of the love I’m seeking.

Presence, devotion, purity.

Respect, polarity, growth.

Who else wants that?

Much love,

Anna Eden